Suicidal Love
by Zwalaaz
Summary: Sakura loves Gaara but he vant figure that out so he goes for ino. Sakura turns goth and tries to kill herself cause she thinks he doesn't love her the story is really long, but a fast read Gaara/Sakura


LunarLocket- I don't own Naruto, Skater Boy, 1000 miles, or suicide note

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Gaara and I where riding down the sidewalk in our baggy jeans and hoodies on our skateboard when suddenly Gaara stopped

"Hey Panda what's up" I asked as I walked up beside him to see him staring across the street at a hair salon wher Ino, Kenta, Karin, and Ami where walking out of.

"Saku what do you think of Ino" he asked me while eyeing Ino in her tight jeans and tanktop

I felt my world crash at that moment. My friend...my best friend...and the one that I was starting to love was asking me what I thought about the girl that made my life miserable since birth.

"Y-you know what I-I think of her I-I tell you e-everyday" I said fighting back tears that threatend to spill yet he didn't notice

"Ya, but are you sure you aren't being overdramatic with the whole she hates me thing. I mean I've never seen her be mean to you" Gaara said

"What are you talking about last week she tripped me and started to laugh, YOU WHERE THERE" I yelled at him

"I don't think so" he said

"Y-your right it must have been one of my other friends" I mumbled

"I think I'm gonna ask her out" Gaara said

"G-Gaara" I said but he didn't seem to notice since he walked across the street to where the laughing girls where

A silent stream of tears fell down my face as I watched him talk to her. I put my hood over my face to hide my tears and slowly started towards the park.

It was dark now and I was going to stay the night at Gaara's since we both lived alone. Instead I layed down next to the lake that was in the park.  
I put my arms behind my head and looked up at the stars.

My cell phone went off in my pocket. I flipped it open and answered it.

"Hello" I said

"Hey Saku" I heard Gaara say causing me to cancel the call and put my phone away

My phone went off again and I just ignored it. When it finally stopped ringing I picked it up to see ten new messages flashing on the screen.

Since they where all from Gaara I deleted them without listening to what they had to say

It was midnight when I finally sat up. I slowly got up and started to walk home skateboard in hand. Now I was glad that I changed all my locks as payback to Gaara who kept on waking me up everymorning at 4 a.m. He had the key's to my old locks, but not my new one since I was suppose to give it to him today.

I walked into my dark house and made sure everything was locked before I walked up to my bedroom with silent tears falling down my face.

I got to my bedroom and Walked over to my bed. Getting on my hands and Knees I reached under it and felt around until I came to a box. I pulled it out and sat on top of my bed placing the box in my lap. I opend it up to reveal gleaming silver. I pulled out the razor that I hadn't used in 6 years.  
(a/n: she's 16 years old)

I hadn't used it since I met Gaara, but now...

I gripped the razor tightly in my hand and place the sharp edge on the skin of my wrist. Slowly I dragged it across my soft skin. I watched as blood flowed from the cut onto my blue carpet. "Deep enough to bleed, not deep enough to die" I thought before creating another gash. I did it five more adding more and more blood onto the carpet and taking more and more from my body. I then put the razor away and pulled out a roll of gauze and bandaged up my arm. Then I got up feeling a little dizzy from the blood I lost. I went into my closet and pulled out a box of cloths I hadn't seen in awhile I pulled out all of my old black cloths and hung them up while at the same time taking all the baggy skater cloths I had before and put them in the box.

Soon my closet was filled with black. Black tanktops, black shirts, black hoodies, black baggy pans, black armwarmer, blackboots, etc.,

It was 2 in the morning when I finally went to sleep setting my alarm for 6 a.m.

I awoke to a banging at my door. I rolled over to see it was 4 in the morning.

"Not once can I sleep in" I thought as I got up and walked over to my stereo turning on my radio full blast to drown out the knocking.

It was my favorite song 1000 miles

Makin' my way downtown,  
Walkin' fast,  
Faces pass and I'm homebound.

Starin' blankly ahead,  
Just makin' my way,  
Makin' a way through the crowd.

And I need you,  
And I miss you, And now I wonder...

If I could fall into the sky,  
Do you think time would pass me by? 'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you... Tonight.

It's always times like these When I think of you, And wonder if you ever think of me.

'Cause everything's so wrong And I don't belong. Livin' in your precious memory.

'Cause I need you,  
And I miss you,  
And now I wonder...

If I could fall into the sky,  
Do you think time would pass me by? 'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you... Tonight.

I, I, don't wanna let you know I, I, drown in your memory.  
I, I, don't wanna let this go. I, I, don't.

Makin' my way downtown, Walkin' fast, Faces pass and I'm homebound.

Starin' blankly ahead,  
Just makin' my way,  
Makin' a way through the crowd.

And I still need you, And I still miss you, And now I wonder...

If I could fall into the sky,  
Do you think time Would pass.. us by? 'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you...

oh oh

If I could fall into the sky, Do you think time would pass me by? 'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you.

If I could just hold you.  
Tonight.

about 20 songs after that

By the time the last song had finished I had changed into a pair of black baggy jeans, a black tanktop, a black zip-up hoodie that I left open, a pair of black and white skater shoes, and a pair of black armwarmers that had skulls on them. I brushed my shoulder length pink hair before grabbing my black messanger bag and skateboard and turning off my radio to hear the banging still going on.

I looked at my clock to see it was 6 a.m. and school started in a half hour. I opend the window that was in my room and carefully shimmied down a gutter the went beside my room from my 2 story house. I walked through a few backyards before getting on the sidewalk and skating the rest of the way to school.

I walked onto the school grounds and looked at the clicks crowded on the front lawn. Normally I would have gone over to the Skaters who where waving me over, but instead I walked over to a group of black clad people.

"sup" I said to them.

The group looked at me trying to size me up til finally they started to introduce themselves.

"Whats up I'm Hinata Hyuuga" A girls in black jeans and tanktop with short blue hair and white eyes said

"And that's Tenten, Neji, Naruto, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Temari" she said pointing at others as she said there names

"Sakura Haruno" I said

"Aren't you a skater?" Naruto asked

"Was a skater" I replied

"What happend?" asked Tenten

"Figured out they sucked" I replied with a shrug

"ah" they replied knowingly

Just then my cell phone went off. The caller ID said Couji

"Hello" I answered

"SAKURA WHERE ARE YOU?" I heard Gaara yell into the phone so loud it caused the others to look at me strangly

I just hung up again

"Who was that?" asked Sasuke

"Gaara" I replied

"Why'd you hang up on him?" asked Tenten

"He's the reason the skaters suck" I replied

"Oo" replied Tenten

"School seems to troublesome today" Shikamaru said lazily

"Then let's skip and have some extra band practice before the battle of the bands next week" Naruto said with a shrug

"You guys are in a band?" I asked

"Yeah the 'guys' are, but they won't let us join cause they want it to be an all guys group" Hinata said

"Well what instruments do you play?" I asked

"I play the drums" Hinata said

"Keyboard" Tenten said

"Bass guitar" Temari said

"Well I use to play a little why don't we make our own band?" I asked

"Why not it's either that or listen to the guys" Temari said

"You girls could never beat us" Neji scoffed

"We'll see about that" Replied Tenten

"Fine then" said Neji as they walked off

"That was interesting" I said

"Yeah, but let's go we need all the practice we can get" Temari said

"Yeah we might just have to skip a few days of school to get in enough practice" I said slyly

"I like your thinking" they said as we walked off to my house to get my electric guitar since the others had their stuff at Hinata's already

"So what songs are we gonna do?" Hinata asked as she spun her drumsticks in her hands

"Songs?" I asked

"Yeah if you make it to the final round you have to do a different song from your first" Replied Tenten

"I'm in the process of making some songs and two of them are done" I said

"That's great do you have 'em with ya?" asked Temari

"Yep" I said handing her some music from my messanger bag

The girls looked at the songs

"These. are. PERFECT" Temari shouted

We practiced until 2 when we took a break

"Hey Sakura since my parents won't be back till next month 'thank god' you wanna stay over. You guys are welcome to" Hinata asked as she set down her drumsticks

"Sure, but I'll have to get some cloths" I said

"We'll come with you" they said

"K then let's go" I said

We left Hinata's house and started to walk down the street to my house. We where talking about who was gonna sing what for the songs when we heard someone behind us

"Hey look Gaara it's the rat pack" we heard a whiny voice say which got a chuckle out of another person

"WHAT THE...oh it's just the trash" I said as I spun around only to see Gaara with his arm around Ino's waist causing me to inwardly flinch

"Sakura what the hell where were you today." Gaara asked letting go of Ino and walking over to me

Tenten, Temari, and Hinata stood in front of me.

"She doesn't want to see you" Tenten hissed

"Move it" He said as he glared at them

"Gaaaraaaa I wanna go" whined Ino

"Come on guys we have to practice" I said turning around and starting towards my house again with the others behind me

"Sakura wait" Gaara said as he grabbed my arm

"HEY, let me go" I yelled trying to yank my arm away from him

"Not until you tell me what's up with you. Your dressing like you did when you came here and I bet your doing 'that' again" Gaara said

"So what if I am" I said as I continued to try and yank my arm away

"Stop" He commanded

"NO. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I HATE YOU" I shouted finally succeding in yanking my arm free and running full speed towards my house with the others behind me.

Once I was safely inside my house I started to cry. The others tried to comfort me

I had finally stopped crying to tell the others that I was fine

"You love him don't you. That's what the songs you wrote where for right" Temari asked getting a nod from me

"well then gets back to practicing so that you can win him from that slut" Temari said making me laugh

"Ok" I said with a smile

I packed enough stuff for at least 2 weeks before we walked back to Hinata's house

A week went by quickly and soon it was the night of the battle of the bands

There where only 10 groups so we had a good chance of winning

The guys went 5th and won with Girl all the Bad Guys Want

It was the ninth act and we where up next. I looked out from behind the curtains and saw Gaara and Ino in the front row holding hands. Fighting the urge to throw up I went to help the others set up our stuff.

It was finally our turn. The announcer shouted out our name The Black Cherry Blossom causing confusion in the crowd since they had never heard of us. Never the less they clapped, but once we all got on they stopped clapping. In all truth we where the only all girl band that entered

"HEY EVERYONE WE'RE THE BLACK CHERRY BLOSSSOMS" Tenten yelled into my mike making me push her back to to her keyboard

I nodded to Hinata who started to count off

Then the music started

he was a boy she was a girl can i make it anymore obvious?

He was a punk, she did ballet What more can I say?

He wanted her, she'd never tell secretly she wanted him as well

But all of her friends, stuck up their nose And they had a problem with his baggy clothes

I looked at Gaara sadly trying to get into the music and have fun but lost it as I saw Ino snuggling up to him with his arm around her

He was a skater boy She said see you later boy He wasn't good enough for her She had an pretty face But her head was up in a space She needed to come back down to earth

Five years from now, she sits at home Feeding the baby she's all alone

She turns on T.V., guess who she sees Skater boy rocking up on MTV

She calls up her friends, they already know And they all got tickets to see his show

she tags along, and stands in the crowd Looks up at the man that she turned down

He was a skater boy She said see ya later boy He wasn't good enough for her Now he's a superstar Slammin on his guitar Does your pretty face see what he's worth?  
He was a skater boy She said see ya later boy He wasn't good enough for her Now he's a superstar Slammin on his guitar Dose your pretty face see what he's worth?

Sorry girl, but you missed out Well tough luck that boy's mine now

We are more than just good friends This is how the story ends

Too bad that you couldn't see See the man that boy could be

There is more than meets the eye I see the soul that is inside

He's just a boy and I'm just a girl Can I make it anymore obvious?

We are in love, havent you heard How we rock each others world!

I with a skaterboy I said see ya later boy I'll be backstage after the show I'll be at the studio Singing the song we wrote About a girl you used to know.

I with a skaterboy I said see ya later boy I'll be backstage after the show I'll be at the studio Singing the song we wrote About the girl you used to know.

By the end of the song we had the whole audience in an uproar

I looked at the others with a sad smile as tears threatend to fall

"AND THAT'S THE BLACK CHERRY BLOSSOMS WHO HAVE MADE IT TO THE FINALS" the announcer roared through his microphone causing the crowd to go crazy

We went in back getting congratulated by the guys before they went on. They got a pretty good round of applause with We Will Rock You when they where done and finally it was our turn once again.

"This is it" I thought as Hinata started to count off

I must be crazy now Maybe I dream too much But when I think of you I long to feel your touch

To whisper in your ear Words that are old as time Words only you would hear If only you were mine

I wish I could go back to the very first day I saw you Should▓ve made my move when you looked in my eyes ▓cause by now I know that you▓d feel the way that I do And I▓d whisper these words as you▓d lie here by my side

I looked into Gaara's eyes the whole time putting my heart into every word hoping he would get what I was trying to say

I love you, please say You love me too, these three words They could change our lives forever And I promise you that we will always be together Till the end of time

I spared a glance at Ino who looked like she was regretful about something

So today, I finally find the courage deep inside Just to walk right up to your door But my body can▓t move when I finally get to it Just like a thousand times before

I love you Gaara is what I wanted to shout out but couldn't

Then without a word he handed me this letter Read I hope this finds the way into your heart, it said

I love you, please say You love me too, these three words They could change our lives forever And I promise you that we will always be together Till the end of time

This song reminds me of my life..I wanted him to say he loved me

Well maybe i, I need a little love yeah And maybe i, I need a little care And maybe i, maybe you, maybe you, maybe you Oh you need somebody just to hold you If you do, just reach out and I▓ll be there

I love you, please say You love me too Please say you love me too Till the end of time These three words They could change our lives forever And I promise you that we will always be together

Oh, I love you Please say you love me too Please please Say you love me too Till the end of time My baby Together, together, forever Till the end of time I love you I will be your light Shining bright Shining through your eyes My baby

The crowd was silent for a second before it erupted into applause. Some of the girls in the crowd where crying ont their boyfriends shoulders.

We waited on stage as the boys came on waiting to hear them announce the winners.

I barely heard the man shout our name as I looked at Gaara. He had Ino in his arms and kissed her on the cheek.

That's when I broke. I ran off the stage not noticing the piece of paper that dropped out of my pocket as I ran.

Tenten however did and walked over to pick it up. Her eyes went wide in horror as she read the words

So close but so far away Never wanted this anyway If yesterday brings a better tomorrow I'm never gonna see the day

And I, I am leaving home And if I never return You don't have to remember me

My heart is broken My scars split open So this knife will be my god And take me from this world

And I, I am leaving home And if I never return You don't have to remember me

Take me from this world Take me from this pain Take me by the hand Make it go away

And I, I am leaving home And if I never return You don't have to remember me And I, I am leaving home And if I never return You don't have to remember me

No, don't have to remember You don't have to remember (2x)

"GUYS" Tenten screamed running over to the others

"Whats wrong and where's Sakura" asked Temari

Tenten shoved the paper to her and everyone read it.

"Oh god. We need to find her now" Neji said

"Guys where is Sakura" Gaara asked walking up to them

Temari shoved the piece of paper towards him before running off with the others

"sakura" he whisperd as he read the note before taking off to the one place he knew he'd find her.

I walked slowly to the park and sat in front of the lake

"A beautiful last sight" I thought as I took out my razor blade

I pressed it hard against my wrist and swiped it across

I watched as the blood flowed out

"Deep enough to bleed, deep enough to die" I thought

"SAKURA" I heard someone yell then the sound of sirens made it to my ears

I just barely felt something getting tied around my wrist and someone talking to me when the sirens made it to where I was

I felt myself being lifted before I blacked out

'beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'

I faintly heard the sound of beeping then some voices

"Sir I'm sorry, but she's been in a coma for 3 days she should have woken up by now" a voice said

"I don't care if you touch her I will kill you" an angry voice said

"Your just postponing the inebidable" the first voice said before I heard footsteps and the sound of a door opening then closing

I felt something on my hand yet I couldn't open my eyes to see what it was

"Sakura please wake up. It's Gaara" I heard him say

"Gaara" I thought

"Please don't leave me. I should have known sooner. Sakura...Saku I love you" I heard Gaara say

Suddenly the beeping noise changed into a wailing one

I heard a commotion

"WHAT HAPPEND" a bunch of voices yelled at once

"CHECK HER BLOOD PRESSURE AND BRAIN FUNCTION HER SYSTEM IS STARTING TO SHUT DOWN" the voice from before yelled

"Doctor it's to late" a female voice said

"SAKURA" Gaara yelled

"Unhook her" the first person said in a sad tone

I felt things coming off and out of me.

"We'll leave you alone now" The first guy said

The door opend then closed again before it became quiet

"Sakura" I heard Gaara say

I felt pressure on my lips. I somehow gained control over my body once again and pressed my lips against what I now realized was Gaara's lips

I felt him jolt backwards causing me to slowly open my eyes

I saw a white looking room around me as I tried to sit up.

"Gaara" I whisperd as I looked at him

"Sakura?" He said

"I love you to" I said

He rushed over to me giving me a hug and a loving kiss before running to open the door and call for a doctor

A doctor rushed in and looked at me

"How...she was..dead...no heart beat" he whisperd before regaining control of what was going on He called in nurses that checked over me and said that there appeared to be nothing wrong with me.

News spread quickly and soon the entire hospital staff was in my room checking to see if it was true.

Soon reporters where on the scene talking into a camera about how I had been pronounced dead not long ago, but had somehow managed to come back to life.

It took several hours before the room cleared until only Gaara and I where left

I looked him in the eyes

"Did you mean it?" I asked

"What?" he asked while taking my hand

"Did you mean that you loved me...or was that just a spur of the moment thing?" I asked

"I ment every word I said, and I'm sorry it took me this long to figure it out" he said befor kissing me once more

"It's ok at least you figured it out" I said before falling asleep in his loving embrace

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LL-this was really sad...at first it was suppose to be a one shot songfic for skaterboy, but I just needed to write more anyways plz R&R

p.s.I wrote this at 12 in the morning if it sucks I'm sorry


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